The aleady traumatised Timmy attempts escape as Nana’s ill-conceived Google search for ‘muddy breasts’ leads to its inevitable conclusion.
Lone wolf, Big Tam McMurder, removes another potential threat to democracy by eliminating everyone attending the East Lothian Liberal Democrats’ OAP Coffee Morning.
“Give me coffee”.
“No, Rex, no bacon roll for you”.
“Coffee. I want coffee”.
“No, Rex! No!! You’ll get fed when we get home”.
“Jeez, I’m 63 in your years and you’ve not once bought me a coffee. What’s a lifelong, loyal friend got to do to get a coffee? Macchiato, please, if they do it”.
“Yes, nice bowl of Winalot is what you want”.
The annual pilgrimage to the distant slopes of Swazzock Hill, where the inhabitants of surrounding villages offer their newborns up for sacrifice.
Norman Doig of 99 Acacia Avenue, Bournemouth is the first to witness the phenomenon of 9 year-olds falling from space.
ACME Anoraks are about to get an earful from Clive.
Nosferatu’s day off.
Margot’s morning swim is ruined by Brexiteers screaming at her to go back to where she came from.
Jeff and Norma are keen ornithologists. Here, we find them contemplating a shag.
Henry was arguing his case well but Death was growing impatient and his Americano was getting cold.
Henry’s time on this Earth was now very short indeed.