“Give me coffee”.
“No, Rex, no bacon roll for you”.
“Coffee. I want coffee”.
“No, Rex! No!! You’ll get fed when we get home”.
“Jeez, I’m 63 in your years and you’ve not once bought me a coffee. What’s a lifelong, loyal friend got to do to get a coffee? Macchiato, please, if they do it”.
“Yes, nice bowl of Winalot is what you want”.
“Fucksake”.
If it wasn’t for the sandflies in Martha’s knickers it would have been a wonderful moment of well-being.
The annual pilgrimage to the distant slopes of Swazzock Hill, where the inhabitants of surrounding villages offer their newborns up for sacrifice.
In approximately 2 hours from now Gladys Braithewaite will become the first UK victim of the man-eating Venezuelan Pygmy Death Slug, only visible by it’s signature luminous slime trail.
Derek’s self-confessed and deep love of kelp was leaving Miriam more and more isolated.
Norman Doig of 99 Acacia Avenue, Bournemouth is the first to witness the phenomenon of 9 year-olds falling from space.
The search for Shergar continues.
Bradley’s plans to circumnavigate the globe by bicycle encounter a major obstacle.
Mrs Dalrymple was ready for the interview.
Mr Dalrymple was not optimistic about the outcome.
Nosferatu’s day off.