ACME Anoraks are about to get an earful from Clive.
Nosferatu’s day off.
Margot’s morning swim is ruined by Brexiteers screaming at her to go back to where she came from.
Dominic Cummings’ new enterprise, a world-beating fish emporium, doesn’t live up to expectations.
Stumbling upon a portal into a parallel universe, Mr Gilhooley discovers that life is just as shit on The Other Side.
Derek quietly double-checks Booking.com and realises his terrible blunder.
Jeff and Norma are keen ornithologists. Here, we find them contemplating a shag.
Denis and Margaret Thatcher, 1981.
You can go on the grass to meet 6 people but you can’t go on the grass with less than 7 or more than 5 people. If anyone is called Alan in your group you must self-isolate in a pub and only drink non-alcoholic beer before 6pm and after 7pm. Peanuts must be eaten in groups of 6 nuts at a time, no cashews. If the grass is outwith Scotland’s central belt then you must travel to the grass with anyone called Sid, unless Sid is showing symptoms. If Sid has eaten cashews in the previous 24 hours, you must return to the last cafe and/or restaurant you were in unless it’s after midnight. Thank you.
Republicans gather to find a potential replacement for Trump in case Covid-19 really can be as bad as those damn experts say.